Teachers, take note ...

OK, I've been in both spots: a substitute teacher and a classroom teacher who is afraid to ever get sick because of the daunting task of picking and planning for a sub. So please excuse the advice, but teachers, seriously ...

"Free Day" is not a lesson plan. It's a nightmare. The kids already think they can get away with anything when there is a sub, that just makes it official.

Ideally, you leave an activity that is relevant to the current unit so we can teach something. If you teach something like calculus or AP Biology, leave an answer key. Having something relevant means that kids will know that the assignment will directly affect their current grade. It can even be a film IF ...

... you have a set "Movie Day" routine that is practiced and reinforced BEFORE YOU GET SICK. For example, I once had a lesson plan to show a movie and "have the kids take notes." It was obvious that this teacher has never shown a movie before because the kids didn't know how to take movie notes, didn't know how many points it would be worth (no answer on the sub plans either), and THE TV DID NOT GET LOUD ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR. Please, please, please test your equipment before you go. If you are the kind of teacher who never shows movies (and I am one of them too), don't make the sub do it for you because all hell will break loose. So, before you need a sub, select a relevant film, create guidelines and expectations, actively watch and coach your students through watching, and reinforce their work by grading it and reviewing expectations for movie day.

You can create other sub routines ahead of time, too. There could be a set of one-hour activities that you do on say, every Friday in September and October. (Examples: reading time, imaginative writing project, art challenges, article reviews.) Then explain to the kids that you won't be doing them anymore with them but when you need to be gone they will do one of those activities with the guest teacher. Let them pick or vote. You can also have a list of rewards (Heads up 7-Up, iPod time, whatever) for the sub to choose for the last 10 minutes. Just communicate to me the expectations and rewards.

Lastly, I put my e-mail and phone number on my business card for a reason: I want to talk to you. Let's decide on a lesson plan together, or discuss rewards, or let me ask questions.

Dude..... 4/20.....

So, I'm not yet booked to sub tomorrow but the afternoon is young and there is plenty of time for someone to come down with a wicked case of teacher burn-out. However, digging into the archives, I remember that I did indeed sub on 4/20 my first year out. (For those of you unaware of urbandictionary, 420 is the police code for marijuana and therefore 4/20 is like a pothead's Fourth of July.)
When I did get that call it was for a nice high school- large, but pulling from a good neighborhood. I was filling in for a math teacher. This particular math teacher had a math support class - they came in for one period in the morning and then another period after lunch. Anyways, this one kid, Sage or Forrest or Sequoia or something like that, comes in just REEKING of pot in the second session. Seriously, kid? I'm a teacher. That meant I spent 5 1/2 years in college with other dreamy do-gooders. You can't pull this one over on me.
The high school was so large I didn't know who to call about this one, or even if anyone would care. (I have gotten advised before when in a similar neighborhood to not bust kids for pot because their deep-in-denial parents will make life difficult for you.) So, I did what any other over-worked, under-paid sub would do: I made his little stoned brain hurt.
"Hey! Hey, SageForrestSequoia, let's do some math! Right here [tap tap tap], here's your worksheet. Wannadomath wannadomath wannadomath?!?!"
"Uuuuuummmmmm, I'm not really.... in the mood .... to do math ....."
"Oh come on! MATH IS SO FUN! How could'ya not wannadomath? [Tap tap tap] Problem one, right here, a train leaves Baltimore - Baltimore is awesome, huh - at 11:30 ..."
And on it went for another 45 minutes. I hoped he regretted coming to school stoned. But just to make sure I flagged down a security guard on my free period. "Excuse me, there was a kid in my class who I think was stoned? SageForrestSequoia?" The guard grinned and said, "Oh, I know EXACTLY who you are talking about. I'll go pull him out of class now ..."

First Day Ever

I keep a subbing journal in my bag. It's a habit I picked up in grad school, where "reflections" were the main assignment for every class. It does help me reflect on successes and challenges, to note where I can improve. It also serves as documentation of days worked so I can verify my paycheck, a record of things to know about each school or classroom (bad parking, rude secretary, when the prep period is, etc) and a handy place to keep contact info. And it provides fodder for the new blog!

Sub calls were slow when I got started. Finally one of my colleagues called and made an appointment and I got really excited - I knew she would leave a great project and that her students would probably be pretty good. What a great way to start!

The day before that assignment, however, I got a last-minute call from the sub line. Groggily I punched all the numbers - ID, PIN, yes I do want to hear a job. I rolled out of bed and raced through my morning, then jumped in the car to try and find a mystery school. When I arrived I nervously handed over my time sheet, got the sub folder and keys and tried to find the room. I then had 10 minutes to prepare for first period. The teacher's desk looked like a hurricane went through and I couldn't find the book of warm-up exercises. I totally panicked and started pawing through everything like a madwoman. Finally one of the students came up and offered to help, then handed me the right book.

Lesson #1 - The kids know how the classroom works. When in doubt, ask a helper!

The first two classes of social studies went OK. About 80% of kids were on task, with just a few really irritating ones. I got initiated into the lying about classroom procedure game, the name-switch game, and the general off-task game. The schedule then said, "Per 3-4, English" and left a bunch of activities. I raced through every activity on the list, but was surprised when kids didn't jump up and grab their bags when the bell rang for the end of 3rd period. "Well, don't want to be late, do we?" I asked. A kid looked totally confused. "We have a double period. This is just a break for us."

Lesson #2 - Learn to think on your feet.

Well, now I had a whole period to go and had raced through my curriculum. I had 5 minutes to figure out a plan. I ended up having them go through the writing project we had rushed, self-editing and then peer-editing their work. Then they could have SSR time to either finish the assigned reading (that I had of course rushed them through) or to read ahead. That got us to lunch.

Already fatigued, I headed downstairs to find a teacher's lounge and microwave. I then took the time to double-check the schedule and computer-lab policies with the secretaries, because I was tired of surprises. "Oh, go talk to Raoul about the computer lab. He's supervising the playground right now. Black coat." I thanked them and headed out to find Raoul.

Raoul the Brazilian male model-turned-computer science student. Neat.

Raoul was very friendly. And very helpful. "I will come to the computer lab with you sixth period, just to make sure everything goes alright." Yay!

Lesson #3 - Schools are filled with educated adults who have similar interests to yours. Some of them happen to be former models with adorable accents.

So, sixth period in the computer lab rolls around, and Raoul does indeed see how I am doing and check up on a few kids he knows to be trouble makers. "By the way," he said "we're going to have an earthquake drill this period." We looked over the emergency folder together and he showed me the correct turns to get out the door and to the field for kid-inventory. I grabbed the roll sheets and sub folder and kept everything in my arms so I wouldn't have to scramble during the drill.

Sure enough, about 20 minutes later a bell goes off and I shout "EARTHQUAKE!! EVERYONE UNDER THE TABLES!!" Kids duck under, except a few stragglers. "OH NO! TIMMY GOT CRUSHED BY FALLING COMPUTER EQUIPMENT! IF ONLY HE HAD LISTENED TO MS. GT!" We waited a few minutes (for falling debris to settle and in case of major aftershocks) then went out the door and to the field. I had kids facing the fence, in line, within seconds. I saw teachers holding up giant construction paper and asked a neighboring adult what that was all about. She rolled her eyes at me and said in a huff, "It's a red/green card. You're supposed to have it with you. Red means you are missing students and green means you are all there. It's required." I stuck my thumb up in the air as an "OK" signal and responded "well, we just came from the computer lab, and I'm new here. Isn't it also required to have kids lined up and quiet?" OK, I didn't say the last part out loud, but boy was her line a mess.

Lesson #4 - Most people are really nice and helpful. Some see subs as less-than-human, especially young ones.

As I checked out at the main office, the secretaries asked me how my day went. "Well, not bad, considering it was my first day." "It was your first day?!? Well, we never would have known, you were very professional." Yay!

So in my first day I faced a horrible mess of a desk, misbehaving kids, a whole period with no curriculum, an earthquake drill while I wasn't even in the regular classroom, and one rude staff member.

I also got Raoul's phone number.