Teachers, take note ...

OK, I've been in both spots: a substitute teacher and a classroom teacher who is afraid to ever get sick because of the daunting task of picking and planning for a sub. So please excuse the advice, but teachers, seriously ...

"Free Day" is not a lesson plan. It's a nightmare. The kids already think they can get away with anything when there is a sub, that just makes it official.

Ideally, you leave an activity that is relevant to the current unit so we can teach something. If you teach something like calculus or AP Biology, leave an answer key. Having something relevant means that kids will know that the assignment will directly affect their current grade. It can even be a film IF ...

... you have a set "Movie Day" routine that is practiced and reinforced BEFORE YOU GET SICK. For example, I once had a lesson plan to show a movie and "have the kids take notes." It was obvious that this teacher has never shown a movie before because the kids didn't know how to take movie notes, didn't know how many points it would be worth (no answer on the sub plans either), and THE TV DID NOT GET LOUD ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR. Please, please, please test your equipment before you go. If you are the kind of teacher who never shows movies (and I am one of them too), don't make the sub do it for you because all hell will break loose. So, before you need a sub, select a relevant film, create guidelines and expectations, actively watch and coach your students through watching, and reinforce their work by grading it and reviewing expectations for movie day.

You can create other sub routines ahead of time, too. There could be a set of one-hour activities that you do on say, every Friday in September and October. (Examples: reading time, imaginative writing project, art challenges, article reviews.) Then explain to the kids that you won't be doing them anymore with them but when you need to be gone they will do one of those activities with the guest teacher. Let them pick or vote. You can also have a list of rewards (Heads up 7-Up, iPod time, whatever) for the sub to choose for the last 10 minutes. Just communicate to me the expectations and rewards.

Lastly, I put my e-mail and phone number on my business card for a reason: I want to talk to you. Let's decide on a lesson plan together, or discuss rewards, or let me ask questions.

Spring fever

The fever is not cured by cowbell.

It's cured by job postings!!

Ah, yes, it's that time again when an administrator's cool indifference turns to fancy as they realize that September will be here soon. And strangely enough, in my region, there have been quite a few art jobs posted, no small feat in this economy. Still, each one is getting hundreds of applicants, and since it is all online nowadays there is no opportunity to "stand out" - even having nice resume paper is outdated.

Any ideas on how to shine in a black and white digital world?

A list ...

... of things my high school students lost in the classroom today.

- A brown notebook

-Car keys

-a green and white iPhone

-A bag of Legos

-A book and book on tape

No. No, I have not seen them.

Dude..... 4/20.....

So, I'm not yet booked to sub tomorrow but the afternoon is young and there is plenty of time for someone to come down with a wicked case of teacher burn-out. However, digging into the archives, I remember that I did indeed sub on 4/20 my first year out. (For those of you unaware of urbandictionary, 420 is the police code for marijuana and therefore 4/20 is like a pothead's Fourth of July.)
When I did get that call it was for a nice high school- large, but pulling from a good neighborhood. I was filling in for a math teacher. This particular math teacher had a math support class - they came in for one period in the morning and then another period after lunch. Anyways, this one kid, Sage or Forrest or Sequoia or something like that, comes in just REEKING of pot in the second session. Seriously, kid? I'm a teacher. That meant I spent 5 1/2 years in college with other dreamy do-gooders. You can't pull this one over on me.
The high school was so large I didn't know who to call about this one, or even if anyone would care. (I have gotten advised before when in a similar neighborhood to not bust kids for pot because their deep-in-denial parents will make life difficult for you.) So, I did what any other over-worked, under-paid sub would do: I made his little stoned brain hurt.
"Hey! Hey, SageForrestSequoia, let's do some math! Right here [tap tap tap], here's your worksheet. Wannadomath wannadomath wannadomath?!?!"
"Uuuuuummmmmm, I'm not really.... in the mood .... to do math ....."
"Oh come on! MATH IS SO FUN! How could'ya not wannadomath? [Tap tap tap] Problem one, right here, a train leaves Baltimore - Baltimore is awesome, huh - at 11:30 ..."
And on it went for another 45 minutes. I hoped he regretted coming to school stoned. But just to make sure I flagged down a security guard on my free period. "Excuse me, there was a kid in my class who I think was stoned? SageForrestSequoia?" The guard grinned and said, "Oh, I know EXACTLY who you are talking about. I'll go pull him out of class now ..."

One Day

Two awful movies.

1. Pay It Forward. Oh dear Lord, it's just painful to watch Spacey, Hunt, and the creepy kid in their earnest and fruitless quest for an Oscar.

2. Shark Tale. Everything that is wrong with kids' movies. Cheesy urban lingo: check. Madonna/whore female characters: check. Glossing over really bad life decisions like credit and gambling: check. Sir Mix-a-Lot: check.

Any particular hated movies for you?

Special Ed ...

It was actually an elementary art assignment, but this teacher gets 2 groups of exclusively special ed kids on Monday afternoons.

Group one was labeled as "academic" special ed. They were going to watercolor in a fish shape in rainbow order. We started by reviewing the colors of the rainbow. They were really good at listing colors, just not in order. So we chanted them a few times. The next step was actually painting the fish. Even with one adult for every four kids, it was still a challenge to get them to paint a stripe of red, stop, rinse the brush, and wait for the next color. By the end, though, we had about 12 lovely rainbow trout.

Group two was listed as "nursing" special ed. They ranged from full support wheelchairs with "hand on hand" instruction (an adult moves their hand that has the brush or pencil in it) to what seemed to be moderate Down's Syndrome. We glued cotton balls to a paper plate, then added black triangles, rectangles (face and feet) and googly eyes to make sheep. Few of the kids performed all the steps (including putting their name on the work) themselves without adult assistance.

Since I usually teach high school art, I'm used to a variety of abilities in my students. However, the severe disabilities are somewhat unfamiliar to me and always a bit of a ... shock (?) Any special ed teacher or sub stories out there?

Guten Morgen, Mein Kinder!

Taught German class this afternoon!!!

So fun -

A) I got to brush up on and test my German skills

B) At OHS - love those kids

C) Got to watch "Shrek" dubbed in German and a film I hadn't seen, "Advertising Rules" - German with English subtitles. It was really good and I wish I knew how it ended.