Irritating

As my dear readers know, I teach mostly high school but in a wide variety of schools, from alternative high schools for inner city near-drop-outs, to a high school in a district populated mostly by rednecks, to a high school in "the hills" of suburbia with the kids of lawyers and professors who are just one step down from sending their kids to private school.

Anyways, I was at this rather well-off school this week and had the math class FROM HELL. I think the most infuriating thing about it is that these kids are supposed to know better. Demographically, they have been raised in 2-parent homes, gone to nice schools with high standards since Kindergarten, are likely to go on to college, and have been exposed to the value of an education (family, friends, and neighbors who are doing well thanks to their degrees.) Even if they don't match these demographics, they are going to a school where these attitudes are the norms and the predominant culture. So it makes me angry when they are rude, off-task, loud, and openly hostile to learning because they are squandering the opportunities that my other students don't have.

Since one of the purposes of this blog is to vent, and because I can't say it to their faces, I will say it now: YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

Yes, you, white male Soph-o-moron. You are ruder than the middle schoolers in the special education class for kids with behavioral disorders at AK-8.

Yes, you sassy girl. You think you are soooo street when you listen to your headphones during class and bop along to the words instead of listening to my explanation in math, but a know a few single moms on the north side that can kick your butt in work ethic. And they will, and I will laugh.

Yes, you, Junior in Algebra 1. You think you are delightfully, counter-culturally average. In a school with over achievers, you revel in not achieving. You wear your C's with pride. Let me tell you, there is a world beyond this high school. A world where lots of Juniors are in Algebra 1 because they have been hampered with sub-par schools their whole life, because they don't have parental support after school, because they don't believe college can be a reality for them. Stop wasting your time on sitting around, your parents' money on weed. Or don't. I really don't care, because tomorrow I'm going to go to a different school and expend my energy on kids who need it. Right now, as you graffiti the table and tear your worksheet up into little pieces, I'm imagining you pumping gas for all the students who clawed their way out of poverty by using all the opportunities provided to them at school and beyond.

OK, that feels better.

Comedy

Scene: AHS, special ed room. Students are supposed to work on homework or in-class work with my help. One student won't do anything, and won't do the default activity of reading a book.

Me: Will, I'm going to ask again if there is ANYTHING you can do right now to be productive?

Will: Nope. Just wanna sleep, or go home.

Girl Across The Room: Will, you are so lazy that when you die they need to bury you on your stomach to give your ass a break!



I just about died trying not to laugh.

Winding down ...

This has been the second-to-last full week of school and man, have things been sloooooow. Just one booking, for today, at AHS. A lot of jobs at the end of the year are covering for teachers who are chaperoning the end-of-year field trip, and this was no exception. Small classes, no fancy lesson plan, it was pretty nice.
It was also nice to see one of my old students from OHS. She came to AHS because a picnic she was attending was rained out and AHS kindly offered up it's cafeteria. The picnic was for graduating members of the Teen Parent Program - yup, a cafeteria full of unwed teenage mothers, their guests, and offspring. Actually, I shouldn't say that, we actually have several Somali refugees who are married and having babies, but still in high school. Anyways, I was one of this girl's teachers when she found out she was pregnant in the fall, had her in class all the way up to practically her due date, and then continued to communicate with her during her maternity leave as she somehow recovered, parented, and did classwork at the same time. She really is amazing, she now has scholarships and is college-bound and her daughter is adorable. I'm not really a baby person, and I'm really not a baby-in-high-school person, but if anyone can make it all work it is this young woman.

So Bored

So I was back at AHS today (those business cards and the principal's rec really paid off!) and the kids were soooo good I got BORED! Thank goodness the regular teacher left his computer logged in so I could obsessively check e-mail and news updates. I was almost hoping someone would act out, if only to give me something to do.

I find it quite amazing that they seem to have trouble getting subs, or at least good subs. I don't know if things have been worse in the past, if subs are hanging up when they hear the school name out of misplaced stereotypes, or if the staff is just really really picky, but this was the easiest day in memory.

Magical Mystery Jobs

Having your work assigned by a computer can be delightfully straight-forward ... the format is usually location-teacher-subject-day-time-special instructions. But every once in a while one of those items is just weird. For example, my first year subbing I got this message:

"RHS-Mr D.-Math-Monday-7:50-3:20. Special instructions: I'm not actually a math teacher anymore. You will be the Dean of Students for the day, check in with the main office."

Wha ... ? Usually you have to have an administrator's license for those jobs! Anyways, I was the Dean of Students for the day, I wore a snappy suit and got Spanish tutoring from kids during lunch detention.

Last week I got this message:

"AHS-Mr. S-Counselor/Student Support Specialist/Student Behavior Specialist-Friday-12:00-3:20."

Again, with the lack of licensing. Also, I didn't know much about the location, except that it was some sort of alternative program for kids who were at the end of the educational rope. At any rate, I figured that I could BS my way through any job for 3 1/2 hours, so I took the job and went. And it turned out to be really easy and enjoyable. As the counselor at this small alternative high school, he took on 3 "orientation" classes, which were pretty much about self-management and common pitfalls (drugs, etc) for this population of students. Only one of them was in the afternoon, so I helped monitor the reading room (as in, I read my own book for a couple of class periods) and then sat with the orientation group as we discussed a DVD on the brain chemistry of drug addiction. So easy and fun! (No sarcasm there. It was fun to relate science and real life, because I am a dork.)

Also, the staff was so happy that I was happy that they eagerly took my business card. A lot of substitutes have the same fuzzy misconception that I had at the beginning of the day on what AHS was all about and so they have a hard time getting dedicated teachers in there. All the more work for me!